Most Zambian families that have migrated
to the United Kingdom (or the USA, Canada, Australia, etc.) have done so for
economic reasons and probably for their children's education. As
these objectives are being achieved, some unforeseen baggage or
issues have arisen. The issue of cultural conflict is one such issue.
In Zambia One grows up with
understanding that my mother's friends are my aunties and dad's friends are
uncles. So when my son's friend says, 'Good-morning Terry' something deep
inside stirs up some sense of lack of respect from this youngster. But the youngster's
tone of voice, de-meaner and facial expression are full of respect. One
becomes confused. How does one reconcile this?
Then comes the day a child says, 'I
have someone I would like you to meet' and if leads to a marriage
proposal some issues may arise. If this person is also of
Zambian descent there is a well-choreographed process that is
initiated by delivery of some agreed tokens to open negotiations that may go on
for months. In our tradition the tokens (money) are delivered in little bowls
or 'utubale' to initiate this process.
However, if the child brings a
non-Zambian a few questions need to be addressed.
- Which way to proceed, to follow or not to
follow ones cultural customs?
- What about 'lobola'?
- What about the traditional teachings related
to marriage?
The theme for the Koinonia Family Conference this
year is 'Celebrating Cultural Diversity in a Christian Family' The speaker
is Pastor Joe Kapolyo of Edmonton Baptist Church.
http://www.baptistassembly.org.uk/event/contributors/joe-kapolyo/
If you would like to attend this conference to learn and share about possible solutions, or
if you would like to know more please get in touch with me through this blog or email me
at: tmkatebe@gmail.com
